


You are imperfect, permanently and inevitably flawed. And you are beautiful

by orphan_account



Category: Daredevil (TV)
Genre: Childhood Memories, Eating Disorders, F/F, Insecurity, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-25
Updated: 2016-03-25
Packaged: 2018-05-29 02:12:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,716
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6354634
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Fill for this prompt on the kink meme: " Matt's childhood was miserable, but we can always make it more so, yeah? Just anything with the premise of wee Matt having spent a few years in orthodontic headgear and having to deal with the associated annoyances and ridicule. Maybe Foggy and/or Karen or somebody finds a picture of him from back then and he's super embarrassed but they think it's cute? "</p>
            </blockquote>





	You are imperfect, permanently and inevitably flawed. And you are beautiful

It started like a normal day. His alarm went off, he showered, made breakfast, took out his retainers, ate, got dressed, brushed his teeth, and left. He had forgotten that he left his closet unlocked when Karen was over helping him install a new shelf on Saturday. 

He wished he had locked it.

As he walked into the building, he heard something odd. Karen and Foggy's heartbeats were really fast and they were laughing. Then he heard. He sped up and just barely got in the office when it happened.

"Oh my god." Karen said. Matt could tell she had a large book in her hands. "Even Matt had an awkward phase."

She didn't. Oh shit. She found his high school yearbook, from the way they laughed, it must have been freshman year. Why did he keep it? It's not like he wanted one. There's a reason he won most improved. Also prom king, but that was more of his classmates being assholes, jokes on them. He spent his prom night going to the movies. They only do audio guided movies once a month and Star Wars sounded cool.

"Wow. You ever rust in the rain buddy?" Foggy jibed .

He knows Foggy is just kidding around. But it still hits like a freight train…

"Wow. I thought it couldn't be done. But you've become ever more of a freak. Why don't you just kill yourself. It's not like any of us would miss you."  
Those were the first words Brigid Collins ever said to him.

The next flashback was normal, well at least it seems more normal. 

" Now Matt, because of how severe your overbite is, I'm going to have to wire it in. Don't worry, lots of kids have to wear headgear, nobody’s going to pick on you." Dr. Green was wrong. It was hell. “Think of how handsome you’re going to be after all this.”

Don't get it wrong. Matt's teeth/bite/jaw relationship was really bad. What with Stick not giving a shit that hitting a kid in the mouth was a bad idea, and so him getting three teeth knocked out and his lower jaw pushed back hard enough for to halt its growth and the lack of money, so that he did to have the suggested exam by age seven, or the fact that even eating and breathing was a challenge, Matt was so overjoyed to have everything fixed that even a decade later at 28, he still wears his retainers at night. It's a huge blessing that Medicaid (ie the only good thing about being in the foster care system ) and Dr. Green's PR plan took care of it. She rightly assumed that giving her time as in kind donation to give a poor blind orphan a beautiful smile would look good and bring in new clients.

Five years in treatment, including two sets of headgear, a pallet expander, two times in surgery (three if you count his wisdom teeth being cut out of his jaw, but that was all under local, and he could go home after that), and being treated like he needed a aid to brush his teeth for him (he's got this covered),it was over. Two weeks until graduation, he had them off. He hit the gym, got a newer haircut, and practicing sounding like he never had messed up teeth. He even showed up at the ten year reunion this past summer and no one even figured out it was him until he put his name tag on and pulled out his cane. He had became normal and had moved on. Sure his whole social life is based on a lie of omission. It was better than being treated like shit. No more Metal Mouth Murdock. Or claims that his dad died or he lost his sight from looking at his messed up face. Or people sticking magnets on the edges of his facebow.

Matt really just wanted the past to stay in the past. It's that too much to ask for? He put it all behind him, became the man that all the girls and guys wanted. No need to bring it to light.

"Matt. Matt, are you still with us?" Karen asked, her heart racing.

" You know it's rude to go through people's things." Matt said. His heart was racing and he was trying not to cry. He is normal damn it. He made himself attractive and charming and all that shit. Damn it. This is why Stick left. Because he's a total pussy. Women cry, not him.

"Come on Matt, it's funny!" Foggy said, his tone betraying him. Honestly, it's funny right? " Let's just get to work. "

The rest of the day went about as normal. Matt left earlier than usual, meaning at a normal time for once.

"Now that Matt's gone, what's his deal?" Foggy asked.

" I get it. I gotta go." Karen all but shouted as she grabbed her coat and ran out of the office. She had a few things to grab and a blind lawyer to see. She really hoped this would help.

Karen stopped at the store for a salad mix, a roast chicken and some wine. Dinner sounded like a good peace offering, plus she had her doubts that Matt is eating enough with the whole Daredevil thing. Luckily it was Claire’s day off and she did not mind helping her out of this sticky situation. She honestly needed Matt to stay in her life. That’s how she met Claire. So she grabbed her girlfriend and her secret weapon and headed over to Matt’s place. She really was not sure if what she and Claire heard was coming from Matt’s apartment or from the neighbor. Someone was crying. As soon as they were outside his door, they knew.

“ Oh God. You and Foggy fucked up big time.” Claire in all her wisdom blurted out. It was clear that Matt had a lot of baggage around his childhood. Kids could be incredibly mean.. But Matt’s super charming and poised. She just assumed that he was over it. Boy she was wrong.

“Matt, It’s Karen and Claire, we brought dinner? Can you let us in? “ Claire said as she knocked on his door. A sigh was heard from inside.

"Fine." Matt mumbled as he opened the door. " You went to Trader Joe's? Please tell me you did not get Two Buck Chuck."

"No. I got nice wine, Mr. Fancy Pants. I know you well enough to make sure not to try that again. Also, it’s kinda creepy when you do that whole smelling where I've been thing." Karen snarked out. She hoped she could save their friendship. She of all people should understand what it's like to hate your body.

They sat down and ate dinner. Claire was somehow able to keep a conversation going and even made Matt laugh. After she and Claire took care of the dishes, they sat down in the living room.

"Let me guess, you want to make nice?" Matt said.

"Yeah. I was wrong. I thought it was just friendly teasing. I want you to feel something. Hold your hand out." Karen said. She pulled a cut plastic wristband out of her pocket and dropped it in his hand.

" What am I holding?" Matt blurts out as he runs his fingers over it. Its plastic and had a snap that was done but it was cut off instead of undone.

"It's a hospital bracelet. When I was 17, I was in rehab for an eating disorder. My childhood was not great. My dad drank a lot and when he was drunk, well… my mom and I look alike, I guess. I thought I was totally worthless and wanted to vanish. So I just stopped eating. It was easy to be overlooked at home if I was skinny and out of the way. Hell, I only got help because the drama teacher at my school saw how thin I was getting. I should have never looked at the yearbook. It's not my place to butt into your past. But Matt, even if you still looked like that, you would still be you. You're a good man. And you are more than just your looks. I'm sorry." Karen says. She hopes it's enough.

"She's right." Claire breaths out. It broke her heart the first time Karen told her about her struggles, and she can understand how Karen and Foggy would think Matt would laugh it off. Matt never shows weakness. " If you want, I brought a couple of the guided journals we use with people who have major changes in their lives, you know people who lose limbs or overcome an eating disorder or have jaw surgery. The box of braille ones may have never been opened before today, but you can have it if you want." 

Matt sighed, "I just feel so stupid. You know, I'm not the only person who was bullied or called a freak. I think it was made worse by the fact that it hurt so much. My senses are always in overdrive, and I was always in pain. Just way too much metal and it was always scraping up my lips. Way too many brackets and springs and wires and all I could taste was metal. In the end, I prayed for it to stop. For some sense of normal. Even though it's been a decade that I've been done with treatment, I still wear my retainers. I'm afraid that I'll end up like that again, and it's so stupid. I am a man. I need to be strong and not give a shit about anything. But I'm vulnerable and insecure and all the things men are not.”  
Karen's heart was breaking. "It's ok." Matt started to cry. "You're ok. It's ok to be human and flawed and all those things."

After everyone had calmed down, they put on some music and ended up killing the bottle Karen brought and another from Matt's bottles. When the buzz wore off, Karen and Claire made their way back home. Matt looked at the journal Claire left, then got himself ready for bed.He hoped that tomorrow would be better.

It was. Foggy made nice. And it all was good.


End file.
